Holding On: A Colorado High Country Novel Read online

  Kenzie’s eyes filled with sympathy. “God, Harrison, that’s terrible. I’m so sorry.”

  Behind him, the door to the café opened with a jingle.

  Kenzie looked over, smiled. “Hey, Esri.”

  Conrad reflexively pulled his hand away, instantly regretting it, the loss of contact leaving emptiness. “Hey, Esri.”

  Esri walked to their table, her cheeks red from the chill and exertion, a Peruvian wool ski hat pulled over her short dark hair. “Hey, Kenzie. Hey, Conrad, welcome home. It’s great to see you.”

  Conrad had known they’d run into someone he knew sooner or later. That was the price for walking out his front door. Scarlet was a small town, after all. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see Esri. He just didn’t want her pushing him to get therapy.

  “It’s good to see you, too.” Remembering his manners, he pointed to one of the empty chairs at their table and stood. “Want to join us?”

  “No, thanks. I’m just here to grab a chai. I’ve been out hiking, and it’s cold out there this morning. It looks like fall is finally here.” Esri looked straight at Conrad. “I heard you stayed for a while at the Tengboche Monastery.”

  Conrad sat again. “I was there for about fifteen months.”

  “I have ancestors on my father’s side who were monks there.”

  Whatever he’d expected her to say, that wasn’t it.

  “Amazing. Small world. Do you have any relatives there now?” He might have met them or shared a meal with them.

  Esri shook her head. “The last was my father’s uncle. When you get some time, I would love to talk with you about that experience. I’ve never been there, but I’ve always wanted to visit. I’ll treat you to coffee. How does that sound?”

  Conrad didn’t have an objection to that—provided Esri didn’t use it as a pretext to psychoanalyze him. “Sure.”

  Esri’s face lit up, and she pulled out her smartphone. “How is tomorrow at ten?”

  “What’s tomorrow?” As if you have anything going on.

  “Sunday,” Kenzie and Esri answered in unison.

  “I’ll have to bring Gabby. I’m fostering her for Kenzie for a while.”

  “That’s fine with me.” Esri bent down to pet the puppy. “She’s a doll.”

  “She’s the smartest puppy in her kindergarten,” Conrad blurted, instantly feeling like an idiot.

  “I bet she is.” Esri stood again. “I should let you two get back to your conversation. It’s great to see you, Conrad.”

  “It’s good to see you, too.”

  As she walked away, Conrad could have sworn she winked at Kenzie.

  Kenzie followed Harrison through his front door, grateful to get out of the cold wind. She glanced around at the dozen or more dusty moving boxes that filled his living room. “This was all upstairs at The Cave?”

  When he’d told her that he planned to spend his afternoon unpacking, she had offered to help.

  “I’ve still got climbing gear and furniture there.” Harrison unleashed Gabby, who bounded off to explore. “I brought mostly personal stuff. I figured I couldn’t wear the same pair of jeans forever.”

  “Yeah, probably not.” She slipped out of her parka, which he took and hung in an almost empty coat closet near the door. “Thanks. Where do you want to start?”

  “Music.” He ran a hand through his hair, glanced around. “I never do anything without tunes. One of these boxes has my sound system. I labeled it so I could set it up first. Now I just have to find it.”

  Kenzie walked among boxes, turning them to read their sides. “Here it is.”

  Harrison whipped out a pocket knife, walked over to the box, and sliced through the heavy tape to reveal a lot of bubble wrap.

  He pulled out a black box that at first reminded Kenzie of an old-timey clock radio and carried it over to an end table. “I can connect my phone to this via Bluetooth or play CDs on it. It comes with wireless speakers for different rooms of the house, but I won’t bother with those until I move into my new place.”

  “Fancy.” Kenzie didn’t have anything that sophisticated. She walked into the kitchen for a glass of water. “What kind of music do you like?”

  “Classic rock, metal, adult alternative, post-grunge, dubstep, country—pretty much everything but mindless pop,” he called after her. “How about you?”

  “Mindless pop.” She smiled to herself when he laughed at her answer. “I’m not picky, as long as it’s music and not just noise.”

  “Got it.”

  She opened a cupboard near the sink and found it full of hobnail glassware in turquoise blue. She took out a glass, felt its weight. “This is so cool.”

  Mrs. Beech’s house was an antique shop.

  She filled the glass with cold tap water and drank, setting it down on the counter just as the Lumineers’ Ophelia began to play.

  She found Harrison standing in the middle of the room, looking rugged and handsome, hands on his hips, a smile on his face.

  “How’s that?”

  It took her a minute to realize he was talking about the music.

  “It’s perfect.”

  They got to work, Gabby supervising while Kenzie opened boxes and announced the contents so that Harrison could carry the boxes to the appropriate room—towels to the bathroom, clothes and sheets to the bedroom, cooking stuff and cleaning supplies to the kitchen.

  He looked into a box that held flatware and utensils. “I’m not sure I need any of this. The house came with almost everything.”

  Kenzie opened another box. “Files and magazines—and, oh! Your old high school yearbooks. You kept them.”

  She reached in, took one out. “West High School Eagles.”

  She walked to the sofa, sat, and started thumbing through it. “What grade were you in back in 2000?”

  He stepped out of the kitchen. “A junior. What are you doing?”

  “Trying to find you.” She turned to the juniors’ section.

  “Oh, God.” He scooped the puppy up and sat beside her. He turned a few pages and pointed. “That’s me.”

  She stared at the kid in the photo. He was a younger, less muscular version of the man who sat beside her, but his smile was the same. “You were hot even back then.”

  Her heart gave a knock when she realized what she’d just said, her gaze jerking to his, heat rushing into her cheeks.

  A grin tugged at his lips, the warmth in his eyes making her pulse skip. “You think I’m hot?”

  She stammered. “Well, I didn’t say … I only meant … Can I plead the Fifth?”

  Could the world please swallow her now?

  His grin grew into a broad smile that put flutters in her belly. “I’ll let you off easy—this time.”

  They worked through the afternoon, Kenzie asking him questions about growing up in Alaska—and secretly ducking into the bathroom once or twice to refresh her lip gloss and check her hair.

  You are hopeless, girl.

  They took a break so that Gabby could have some outdoor playtime, practicing puppy runaways until it started to rain. Then, with the puppy worn out and asleep in her crate, they went back to unpacking.

  Most of what Conrad had brought from The Cave was basic household stuff, tools, and personal belongings like clothes, towels, and sheets. Much of it needed to be washed and dried after spending more than a year in storage. But there were strange odds and ends, too—old albums, pieces of rock that Harrison had brought back from mountains all over the world, a box of old phone chargers and electronics.

  “Where do you want me to put these?” Kenzie held up a shoebox of rocks.

  Harrison glanced up from the drawer he was stuffing with socks. “You can stick that on a shelf in the closet.”

  She stepped into the closet to find the lower shelf already crammed full. The upper shelf was almost empty, but it was beyond her reach. She glanced around for something to stand on—all she needed was another couple of feet—and spotted an old wooden step ladder
in the back of the closet. Mrs. Beech had probably used it, too. She hadn’t been much taller than Kenzie.

  Box tucked under one arm, Kenzie moved the step ladder into position. She didn’t like heights, but she would only be a few feet up. She stepped onto the first rung, the second, and then the third, only to feel the top step give way. She toppled sideways with a shriek, rocks scattering.

  Harrison caught her in mid-air. “Going somewhere?”

  He didn’t set her on her feet, but held her in strong arms, his face inches from hers, his body hard.

  Kenzie could barely breathe, being close to him like this sending her pulse into overdrive. Somehow, she managed to speak. “How did you get to me so quickly?”

  “I was already on my way to help you. You don’t need a ladder when I’m here.”

  Then his gaze dropped to her lips—and he kissed her.

  Chapter 7

  At the first brush of his lips against Kenzie’s, Conrad knew he was in trouble. She was perfect. Everything about her was soft and sweet—her lips, her skin, her scent, the feminine feel of her body.

  Hell, yes.

  He kissed her again, deeper this time, and she came alive in his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist, curling her fingers in his hair.

  The heat that had simmered inside him all afternoon, that hungry spark of desire he felt for her, burst into open flame. Blood rushed to his groin, his cock straining against his jeans, lust pounding in his veins like a pulse.

  It hit Conrad that he could fuck her just like this. She was small and light in his arms. Yeah, he could fuck her like this—standing, holding her, her body clinging to his.

  An image of her, naked and grinding against him while he held her filled his mind—and then he remembered where they were.

  Not in the damned closet.

  He turned, walked with her to his bed, and lowered her to the mattress amid piles of laundry, following her down, his hips cradled between her thighs. He looked into her eyes, saw what he thought was longing.

  He needed to be sure. “Do you want this?”

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  He took her mouth with his again, and this time he didn’t hold back. Neither did she, answering his need with her own, her tongue meeting his.

  He’d fantasized about kissing her, touching her, fucking her. Before this last trip, he’d fantasized almost every night. At the monastery, too.

  Kenzie, always Kenzie.

  But the reality of kissing her beat any fantasy. Her fingers fisted in his hair, and her body moved beneath his. She didn’t wait for him to make the next move, but slid one hand beneath his shirt, moaning as she took in the feel of him, her palms spreading fire over his skin.

  Why hadn’t they done this before now?

  He tore his lips from hers and returned the favor, raising himself up on one elbow to cup one of her breasts through her sweater and bra.

  She moaned, arched into his hand, her nipple a hard pebble beneath the fabric.

  He rucked up her sweater, moaned at the sight of her—the soft swells of her breasts, creamy skin, wine-red nipples peeking through black lace. He kissed her breastbone, then pushed the cup of her bra aside, and licked her nipple.

  “Oh.” She gave a gasp, her areola drawing tight.

  Then he lowered his mouth to her breast and suckled her.

  A knock.

  “Is anyone home?”

  Kenzie’s eyes flew open. “Rose?”

  “What the hell?” Conrad levered himself up. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

  “I’m not going to hide.” Kenzie stood, adjusted her bra, pulled down her sweater.

  “Hello?” Rose called again, clearly inside his house now.

  Kenzie looked like she was trying not to laugh, but Conrad didn’t find it funny at all. He adjusted himself, made sure his shirt covered the ridge of his erection, and walked out to the living room, Kenzie one step behind him.

  Rose stood there, snooping through boxes, her back to him.

  Conrad fought not to lose his temper. “Looking for something?”

  Rose jumped, turned to face him, a magazine in her hand. “The door was unlocked—”

  “So you just walked right in?” Conrad reached for the magazine.

  Rose held it up so that the cover faced him. “The good old days, huh?”

  On its cover was a photo of him and Bruce standing on the summit of Everest in 2008, both half frozen, both smiling. The sight of it hit him like a fist.

  He jerked the magazine away from her. “Why are you here?”

  Rose ignored the question, her lips curving in a knowing smile. “I thought that was your truck out front, Kenzie.”

  “Hey, Rose,” Kenzie answered.

  “We’re unpacking,” Not that it was any of Rose’s business, but Conrad didn’t want to expose Kenzie to gossip.

  “You were being very quiet about it.”

  Conrad opened his mouth to tell her to mind her own damned business, but Kenzie spoke first. “Gabby, my puppy, is asleep.”

  From Rose’s smile, Conrad could tell she wasn’t buying it.

  “I brought you a little housewarming present, a gift to welcome you back.” She held out a green-and-white striped paper gift bag that read “Rose’s New Age Emporium” on one side. “I heard you stayed at a Buddhist monastery. Did you convert?”

  “No—not that it’s your business.” Conrad took the bag, opened it, and found a large crystal on a silver chain.

  He held it up. “Thanks. What do I do with this?”

  “It’s a Feng Shui crystal. Hang it in a window. It will activate positive energy and break up old, dark energy in your home. This place needs new energy.” She glanced around as if this energy of which she spoke were as visible to her as the breadcrumbs on the countertop.

  But Conrad wasn’t fooled by her caring neighbor routine. He suspected she’d invited herself in so that she could check out Mrs. Beech’s house—and perhaps find something about him she could share with her network of gossipy friends.

  “Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for the gift. Next time, please wait for me to open the door before you come in. Some folks in Scarlet might not mind when neighbors walk in unannounced, but I’m not one of those people.”

  Rose didn’t seem offended by this. “Fine. We all have our boundaries.”

  “Yes, and you crossed mine.”

  There was a moment of awkward silence.

  “Well, I’ll just let you get back to … unpacking.” The way she said it left no doubt that she didn’t think they’d been unpacking at all.

  “I’ll walk you to the door,” Kenzie offered.

  “You don’t need to do that.” Rose passed Conrad, a smug smile on her face.

  Conrad followed her and locked the door behind her. “Why does she think she can just walk into my house?”

  Kenzie shrugged. “I have no idea. The whole town is going to hear that you and I were kissing before tomorrow morning. I hope that doesn’t upset you.”

  “No, not at all. I don’t give a damn what people think. Besides, how can she be sure what we were doing? She didn’t come into the bedroom.”

  Kenzie looked up at him, seeming to hesitate, a smile tugging at her lips. “You’re, um, wearing my lip gloss.”

  Conrad ran the back of his hand over his mouth.

  It came away rosy and sparkling.

  Kenzie took Gabby outside to do her business, a cold wind blowing down from the mountains. She wrapped her arms around herself to ward off the chill—and the sinking feeling in her chest.

  She had hoped she and Harrison would pick up where they’d left off before Rose had intruded. They’d barely touched second base, and her body still ached for him. But Harrison had gone back to unpacking as if nothing had happened between them.

  He was pulling away from her. They’d spent a perfect day together. They had kissed—and more. But now he was pulling away.

  At first, Kenzie had thought Rose was to blame
for his abrupt change of mood. That was undoubtedly part of it. But when he’d refused to make eye contact with her moments ago, she’d known there was more to it than that.

  She watched Gabby sniff her way along the fence, watching the skies and nearby trees for the owl Harrison had warned her about.

  What should she do?

  She could pretend like nothing had happened and go home, but she hated it when people brushed important things under the rug. They were adults, for God’s sake. And, yes, this had been important—to her, at least, but maybe not to him.

  She could ask him what was going on, try to get him to talk about it, but she had no idea how he’d react. He might push her away, and that would be it.

  Tell him how you feel.

  Right.

  Hey, Harrison, I’m super attracted to you and think you kiss like a dream, so please stop brooding, get naked, and pound me.

  He did kiss like a dream, using just enough strength and force to make her feel swept away and enough skill and gentleness to keep it pleasurable.

  It was time for her to head home anyway. She needed to put together a bank deposit, pick up something for supper, and retrieve Gizmo from the kennel.

  Gabby finished and bounded across the lawn back to Kenzie, probably as eager to get out of the cold as Kenzie was.

  “Good girl.” Kenzie gave her a treat and then went back inside with her to find Conrad sorting through a box he’d set on the kitchen table—the box Rose had been poking her nose into. “She did what she was supposed to do.”

  Conrad nodded, his expression softening when Gabby trotted up to him. He bent down, petted her. “Who’s a good puppy? You are. That’s right.”

  Gabby pranced and wagged, delighted to be the center of his attention.

  And once again, Kenzie was jealous of her puppy.

  She glanced inside the box and saw a stack of magazines, all of them with Harrison’s face on the cover. “Cool!”

  She took one out, opened it.

  “They’re just old interviews. I’m tossing them in the recycling.”

  She shook her head. “You can’t do that. You’re on the cover.”

  “I don’t want them.” There was an edge to his voice.