Fire and Rain: A Wildest Alaska Novel Page 2

  She closed her eyes and let her thoughts drift, savoring the heat and the quiet.

  She’d heard the helo lift off about thirty minutes ago and knew that Justin was out there somewhere, trying to save lives. When they’d first met, she’d sat by her VHF radio any time he went out on a case, listening, needing to know he was safe. But they’d been married for three years now, and she’d adjusted to the risks of his job—mostly.

  She’d fallen in love with that brave man who’d jumped out of a hovering helicopter and swum through icy water just to ask for her name and number. Danger was part of the package that was Justin. If he could cope with it, so could she.

  When she’d met Justin, she’d been working full-time as a pharmacy tech at Safeway. She’d enjoyed that job more than the jobs she’d had as a teen—acting as a tour guide, waiting tables, working at the fish processing plant. When she’d found out she was pregnant, she and Justin had talked about it and decided they had enough money saved up for her to leave work until their kids were in school. Given his long hours and unpredictable schedule, it had seemed the best thing for them as a family. It wasn’t as if Eden had any great career ambitions.

  She was an Alaskan through and through. What mattered to her was family and spending as much time as she could in nature, boating, fishing, hiking, watching wildlife. For her, a job was just a way to pay the bills, nothing more.

  But Justin had always wanted to be in the military. He’d chosen the Coast Guard because he loved the water. Then he’d learned about Aviation Survival Technicians—rescue swimmers—and he’d known exactly what he’d wanted to do.

  Her brave, crazy husband.

  She found herself smiling as she remembered their conversation tonight and the sexy purr in his voice when she’d told him she wanted to try for another baby.

  “Are you saying no more condoms?”

  “No more condoms.”

  “Man, I wish I weren’t on duty tonight.”

  Oh, so did she.

  She had grown up as the middle child with four sisters—Natasha, Maria, Katie, and Anya—and she wanted Maverick to have at least one sister or a brother. She also wanted her parents to meet her children before they passed. They were in their sixties, and neither of them was in very good health. Though Justin had promised he would do all he could to stay here on Kodiak Island, she knew that was beyond his control.

  Eden brought her hands to rest on her belly, the silver stretch marks from her pregnancy with Maverick barely visible. Would their next baby be a girl or a boy? A part of her hoped it would be a girl so they would have one of each. She would love to watch her newborn daughter wrap Justin around her tiny finger. But boy or girl, it didn’t really matter to Eden.

  In the distance, she heard the rotors of another helicopter leaving the station. Was it for the same case, or had they gotten another call?

  Justin would tell her all about it when he came home in the morning.

  Wrapped in a blanket, Sean sat in the troop seat of another MH-60, James strapped in beside him as the helo that had rescued them made its way back to base. He was oblivious to the searing pain from his burns and the ache of his broken arm, his mind fixed on those few seconds just before the explosion.

  Abort the hoist! Abort! We need to get everyone off the boat and pick them up in the water. They’re cooking meth, and the patient was exposed.

  Abort the hoist. I’m putting some distance between us. Prepare to recover our swimmer and survivors from the water.

  Aborting the hoist. Get out of there, Koseki!

  BOOM!

  Mayday! Mayday! This is Coast Guard Rescue Six-Zero-Three-Eight! The Marjorie T exploded. We’re going down!

  If only Sean had shouted to Justin to jump now…

  If only he’d held onto that hoist line…

  After the helo had hit the water, Sean had unhooked himself and helped Wade escape the sinking aircraft. That’s how he’d discovered that his right arm was broken and useless. The pain had been excruciating. Sean didn’t remember all of it, but they’d both made it out and up to the surface again.

  Sean had glanced around, his right arm limp. “Where are Spurrier and Abbott? Do you see Justin?”

  Wade turned in the water. “No, I… There!”

  James had surfaced fifteen feet to Sean’s left.

  “Abbott?” Sean had shouted.

  Flames had reflected off Spurrier’s flight helmet. “Gone.”

  Jesus.

  Abbott was dead, and Justin…

  Driven by desperation, out of his mind with pain and grief, Sean had fought to swim through swells and flaming wreckage, searching the surface for any sign of Justin—a flash of orange, his helmet, anything.

  But James had caught him in a rescue hold and dragged him away from the flames, slapping a small strobe light to his helmet to make him visible from the air in case they were separated. “Don’t fight me, man. It’s too late! It’s not safe.”

  Sean had never felt so helpless.

  Now, a boat crew and a third helo were searching the water for remains. The Coast Guard would do an investigation and come up with procedures to avoid this in the future. But nothing would bring back Justin or David or the people whose lives they’d died trying to save—to say nothing of the multi-million-dollar aircraft that now lay at the bottom of the Gulf of Alaska.

  “Petty Officer McKenna!”

  Sean’s head jerked up. Had he blacked out? “Sir?”

  “I think he’s in shock.” But Wade wasn’t speaking to Sean.

  Trey Nash, the rescue swimmer on this flight, turned to Wade and James. “Apart from the blanket, he says he’s fine and has refused treatment.”

  Sean wanted to insist that he was okay, but he couldn’t keep his teeth from chattering.

  James spoke clearly. “McKenna, you are to do whatever Trey and Wade tell you to do. That’s an order. Do you understand?”

  “Y-yes, sir.”

  Wade leaned closer. “I’m going to give you some morphine and get you in the litter so we can transfer you as soon as we land.”

  The jab of a needle.

  After that, it was a blur of shivering, pain, and voices.

  “… second-degree burns on the exposed part of his face …”

  “He’s got a right humeral shaft fracture. I splinted it when he was unconscious.”

  “Between the meth and the burning ship, we can’t rule out chemical exposure.”

  “We should be on deck in zero-five mikes.”

  Then he was on a gurney, rolling toward a waiting ambulance, the dark sky above him. Before he drifted into unconsciousness, one thought crystallized in his mind, the pain it caused worse than any injury.

  How in God’s name was he going to tell Eden that the man she loved was dead?

  Chapter One

  April 15

  Sean McKenna gritted his teeth as Ryan, his physical therapist, ended today’s appointment with deep-tissue torture on his right shoulder.

  “I know it’s painful, but one day you’ll be grateful.”

  “If … you … say so.”

  He was right-handed, so it was going to be nice to have the use of his dominant hand again. But the fracture of his humerus had caused soft-tissue damage to his right shoulder that had required surgery, and his shoulder was sore and stiff. At least the bone was healed and he was rid of the brace and sling.

  “Okay, that’s enough for today.” Ryan turned to a small refrigerator and drew out an ice pack. “You ice it while I print out those exercises for you to take home.”

  “Thanks.” Sean took the ice pack, pressed it against his shoulder.

  Three months had passed since the night of the incident. During that time, Sean had been on medical leave. His facial burns, though extremely painful, had been only partial thickness burns and so had left minimal scaring in the form of pale blotches that no longer grew a beard. But broken bones and injured muscles took longer to heal than blisters—or emotions.

  N
ot a day passed when Sean didn’t wish he’d handled things differently. If only he’d gotten that basket back into the cabin before the explosion. Or shouted earlier for Justin to abandon the rescue and jump. Then Justin and David might both be alive.

  Those choices haunted his nightmares, making it hard to get a full night’s sleep.

  Investigators had identified the three people from the Marjorie T, a local family. All three had prior drug-related arrests. The last Sean had heard, an informant had told police that they owed a lot of money to some drug dealer. Police believed they’d been cooking meth to sell as a way to pay off that debt. Now, investigators were after the dealer.

  Ryan returned with a handful of printouts, each describing a new exercise. “We went through all of these today. Keep doing what you’re doing, and you’ll be back on active-duty status soon.”

  “Thanks.” Sean stepped off the exam table and took the printouts. “Same day and time next week?”

  Ryan nodded. “See you then.”

  Sean put on his shirt and jacket and left the clinic. The sky was overcast, a cold breeze blowing from the east, carrying the scent of rain. He walked to his gray Subaru Forester, climbed inside, and drove toward Justin and Eden’s place on Aviation Hill, a government housing area for Coastie families just off the base.

  Coast Guard investigators had released their report on the incident this morning, and he wanted to make sure she had a copy. Investigators had determined that the flight crew was not at fault and that all procedures had been followed. They had also concluded that the Coast Guard needed protocols to keep crews safe from potential floating meth labs in the future.

  Are you doing this for Eden’s sake or for yourself?

  On the night Maverick had been born, Sean had promised Justin that he’d watch over Eden and Maverick as if they were his own family should anything happen to Justin. He’d was doing his best to keep that promise, and delivering this report was part of that.

  The report hadn’t assuaged Sean’s sense of guilt. Close to a minute had passed between Justin’s realization that they were cooking meth and the explosion that had killed him. A minute was more than enough time for Sean to yell into his radio for Justin to jump and for Justin to hit the water. If he’d been below the surface when the ship had blown…

  Sean also had a box of belongings from Justin’s locker and from the duty room he’d stayed in that night that he needed to return to her. James had put it all in his back seat, but Sean kept forgetting about it. He hoped the contents of the box and the memories they stirred wouldn’t make Eden’s day harder. But how could they not?

  Sean made a left off Rezanof Drive onto Aviation Hill Loop Road and turned onto Beach Circle, parking in the driveway of the tidy duplex where he’d spent so many weekends and evenings. He drew a deep breath and picked up the printout of the investigation report, reminding himself that he was here to help Eden and not to unburden himself. Then he climbed out of his vehicle, walked up the steps to the front door, and knocked.

  When Eden answered the door, Sean could tell she’d been crying, her eyes puffy and red. She wore an old KHS Bears T-shirt over faded jeans, her long, dark hair hanging free. Sean had always found her beautiful, her mixed heritage giving her matchless features—high cheekbones, full lips, big eyes of hazel-green. He’d always told Justin that he’d married the most beautiful woman on the island.

  She motioned for him to enter, speaking softly. “Maverick is asleep.”

  Sean stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

  Eden smiled. “You’re not wearing the brace. How does your shoulder feel?”

  “Stiff. Sore. It’s nice to have my right hand back.”

  “I bet. You’re almost healed. The scars on your jaw are almost gone, too.”

  “Almost.” He followed her toward the kitchen table, where official papers were spread everywhere. “You’ve been busy.”

  “The Casualty Assistance Calls Officer was here this morning going over the last of the paperwork with me.” She ran a hand through her hair, leaving it tousled. “I’ve been trying to figure out my finances, make the right decisions. Social Security is taking forever. It’s so much to deal with all at once. It’s just … hard.”

  The quaver in her voice as she said that last word hit Sean in the chest. “Can I help? I’m pretty good with Coast Guard lingo and budgets and the like.”

  Like Justin, Sean had filled out all the necessary forms so the Coast Guard would know what to do with his remains and his military benefits in case he was killed in the line of duty.

  Eden gave him a sad half-smile. “You didn’t come here to help me fill out paperwork.”

  “I brought the report from the crash investigation.” He set the document on the table. “I thought you might want a copy. I can summarize it if you don’t want to read it.”

  Eden’s brow furrowed, her arms crossed over her chest. “Thanks. I’d like that.”

  “The report states that the flight crew wasn’t to blame for the crash or Justin’s and David’s deaths. The report also states that the Coast Guard needs to come up with protocols for dealing with potential meth labs on watercraft.”

  Eden nodded, her expression unchanged. “What’s their plan for that—teaching flight crews how to read minds? Meth radar?”

  “I have no idea.”

  She met his gaze, some of the tension on her face easing. “Does this mean you’ll stop blaming yourself now?”

  Her question took him by surprise. He had apologized to her for Justin’s death, but he had never shared his gnawing sense of guilt or dumped his pain in her lap. She had enough on her shoulders without dealing with his emotions, too. But apparently, she’d seen through him.

  Confronted with her frank question, he was honest. “It was my job to get him safely back on board the helo so he could come home to you. I … failed. If I could trade places with him, Eden, I would. In a heartbeat.”

  Her lips curved in another sad smile, tears glittering in her eyes. “There was nothing you could have done. I’m glad you, Wade, and James survived.”

  Her kind words seemed to cut his soul, leaving his own grief and guilt raw.

  Before he could think of what to say, she wiped her tears away. “I’d appreciate your help if you have time. It’s all so overwhelming.”

  He swallowed. “I’d be glad to.”

  She walked to the stove. “I’ll make coffee.”

  Eden changed Maverick. “Uncle Sean is here. Do you want to go say hello?”

  Maverick looked up at her through his father’s brown eyes. “Sawn.”

  “Yes, Uncle Sean is here.” She lifted him off the changing table, set him on the floor, and handed him his favorite blankie. “He’s helping me with some work. Are you hungry?”

  His little hand around her finger, she walked with Maverick to the dining room.

  Sean looked up, smiled. “Hey, there, buddy. Did you get a good nap?”

  Maverick gave Sean a shy smile, half hiding behind Eden’s leg.

  “I’ll just get him a snack.” Eden settled Maverick in his highchair and went to get some graham crackers and a sippy cup of milk. “He says your name now, you know.”

  “Is that true? Can you say my name? Who am I?”

  When Maverick simply stared at Sean without speaking, Eden laughed. “He’s making me look like a liar.”

  “That’s okay. He’s just waking up. I know the feeling, little dude.”

  Eden set the graham crackers and milk on Maverick’s tray and pointed to Sean. “Who’s that? Can you tell me who that is?”

  But Maverick had popped the cup into his mouth.

  Sean pushed a notepad across the table toward her. “I think I’ve put it together here if you want to go over it.”

  “Thanks.” Eden sat in the chair closest to Maverick, tucked her hair behind her ears, and looked down at the notepad.

  Sean pointed with the pencil. “The five-hundred thousand from the life insurance and death gr
atuity—you wanted to put that into savings, right?”

  “I hate that term—death gratuity.” Something in Eden snapped. “What does that mean, anyway? A gratuity is what you give a server who brings your meal quickly and gets your drink order right. A death tip? Come on! Where’s the dignity in that?”

  Surprised by the force of her own rage, she stopped, drew a breath, and found Sean watching her through sympathetic blue eyes.

  “I’m sorry. That wasn’t directed at you.” Rage spent, she was now on the brink of tears. “I… I would rather have Justin back than any amount of money in the world.”

  “Hey, don’t apologize.” Sean rested a big hand on hers for a moment, his touch warm and comforting. “You’re right. It’s a stupid term. The military specializes in those—and acronyms.”

  She reached for a tissue, dabbed her eyes, smiling despite herself. “Justin called it military alphabet soup.”

  Sean nodded, a sad smile on his face, and Eden knew he’d heard Justin say that, too. “He was a fun and funny guy—the best.”

  Eden had always enjoyed watching Justin with Sean together. They were both tall, strong, and good-looking, but that’s where the similarities ended. Justin had had brown eyes and dark hair that he’d kept short, while Sean had blue eyes and dark blond hair. They looked nothing alike, and yet they’d been kin since the day they’d met.

  “You were like a brother to him.”

  Sean’s gaze dropped to the table. “He is still a brother to me. He’s just … gone.”

  For a moment, Eden simply stared at Sean, his words describing her feelings in a way that no one else seemed to understand. “Yes. He’s still my husband. He’s just gone.”

  She knew her friends and relatives meant well, but their attempts to comfort her had as often as not left her wanting to scream.

  Your tears will dry, and you’ll meet someone new and fall in love again.

  Everything happens for a reason.